Blog-Hopping: An Off-Color Adventure

We've all done this: you get on the Internet with the simple intention of checking your email, and an hour later you find yourself about twenty clicks away looking at a YouTube movie of a cat playing the piano. Or something else much more disturbing, like a piano playing a cat.

This is the story of what I was doing last night. My intentions were simple enough--just five minutes to check on a blog or two I haven't been to in awhile--then I was going to go do the dishes, like I was supposed to've done right after dinner.

Anyway, Millie posted this fabulous Eric Snider link where he mocks Twilight*. Absolutely great stuff. Very funny. It had been awhile since I've read any Eric Snider, so I spent a few minutes poking around his blog, and found a link where a few people were mocking snippets from "Police Beat" in the Daily Universe. (If any of you are graduates of BYU and remember the Daily Universe, this may bring back fond memories.) I greatly enjoyed reading it, but it does start to get a little off-color. (I was not offended, but that doesn't mean much. My favorite bit by far was "Long Juan Silver." Just thinking about it right now is making me choke a little.)

Then I started snooping around that blog, and I found this. And laughed. (By now, my sides are hurting.) After you've clicked on that link, click here for some pictures of the...er...completed recipe. Oh, heavens.

And from there, I found yet another link to here (this one has its own pictures). Worse and worse, but I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

And then I went to bed. Right after I hurriedly scrubbed dishes and threw them in the dishwasher, that is.

And now I'd better post this and run off to the kitchen, because I'm already a half hour late starting dinner. (How does that happen? Blasted Internet. Wait--maybe I should just look on ebay for just a minute and see if anyone happens to be selling some self-discipline...)

*For you Twilight fanatics: Elastic posted something awhile back, too, which I enjoyed very much as well: a mock trailer for Twilight. If you haven't seen it yet, now is the time.

gratitude

I've got an awful lot to be grateful for. For example, did you know that chocolate did not EXIST in the solid bar form prior to 1830? That's right. People just drank it, like coffee. Sad.

I am also extremely grateful for electricity, which makes other wonderful things such as central heat, air conditioning, refrigerators, and computers possible. I mean, where would I be without my electric throw wrapped around me as I type this? And microwaves make hot chocolate just about instant, which is a wonderful thing on a chilly night like this. (It's been below freezing.)

Also, deodorant and toothpaste. Need I say more? Yes. I am grateful for soap. Scented, bubbly soap that does not smell like lard or ash (which is what soap used to be made of...though I don't know if I believe it...)

I'm grateful for great big things, things like health--mine and other family members--and the Gospel, and family, and people who set a world's record by making a gigantic cookie.

I'm grateful for silly things, like knock-knock jokes and presidential elections.

And I'm grateful for you. Thanks for stopping by. Here, some more of what I'm grateful for: my digital camera and the beautiful world we live in:




































Happy Thanksgiving!

Our Primary Presentation Was Today

Yup. It sure was. This was my son's first time participating. Well, "participating" doesn't seem to be the right word. He did go up. Eventually. After I asked him, "Do you want to walk up, or do you want me to carry you?" (I carried him up there.) And once he was up there, I had to stay nearby to keep him from bolting. He didn't sing. He sat when he was supposed to stand, and stood when he was supposed to sit, and he really really worked on giving the crustiest looks possible while he pouted during the songs. He had one line, something like: "I will follow Jesus because I love Him," which he mumbled as grouchily as he possibly could into the microphone. It was, of course, completely unintelligible. A little bit later, he found that one of his fingernails was coming off (he's a nail picker and can't leave them alone). It just happened to be his middle finger. So he said, as is his habit, "Mom, I got a fingernail goin' on!" and waved his finger in the air to show me--and flipped off the entire congregation. I sneaked a little closer and removed the fingernail. Five minutes and some picking later, he did it again. Same finger, same obscenity. And then it was over. I'm just happy he went up there and participated at all! And I just hope that his participation in today's program made some people's sacrament meeting just a little more entertaining.

Happy Halloween!!!!

I had so many posts planned. I'm not getting any of them done.

Sad, isn't it?

But--I managed to pull myself together for a few minutes and slammed a few things together really quick before my diseased brain noticed what my fingers were doing. So, for your Halloween enjoyment, Some Stuff:

Recently my son has discovered Garfield, and for some reason, he's taken a shine to 'im. So here are two haunted house scavenger hunt games, and they have the warm (and slightly sticky) seal of approval from a 4-year-old:

(Click on the picture to follow the link.)

(...and here's PART TWO):



Does anyone have a favorite movie they like to watch around this time of year? I prefer spooky over gore, and thought-provoking over...well...cheesy dialogue. Here is one of my favs (and it's R, FYI):



Here's a little movie that involves Death and a Kitty. (What's with all the cats around here, anyway?) I liked it. And I promise it has a happy ending:



And the last one is another fun little game that answers the question: What happens if you steal a vampire's teddy bear?



Happy Halloween!!

AROOO! ( <-- that's me howling)

First of all,



Many of you blog readers have left comments, sent emails, actually called my house, left more emails with your phone numbers in them and some unsubtle hints for me to call you, left other comments, left messages on my answering machine, sent roses and chocolate,* sent wonderful Halloween SOCKS and assorted goodies,** etc.

And here I sit, not one phone call made, not one email returned...well, I may have returned an email to somebody at some point...but not one thank-you note sent.

I'm sorry about that. It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I currently am covered in fur, and the long fangs make it hard to speak intelligibly. And the long claws make it hard to type or dial the phone. I really am trying to pull my head out of my nether-regions, but I think it's gonna take a little more time (it is much more difficult to pull your head out if the long bushy tail gets in the way, you see). I'm okay. Or I will be. Sooner or later. When the medication kicks in. Or when the moon falls out of the sky and stops doing this to me.

Sigh.

The worst bit is that this screwed up my Halloween blog party...oh well. I have to say that I have sent out...5 or 6? packages to people, and I'm not sending any more, so I guess the contests are closed. But I'm still leaving up the links because I like them.

I'll see you soon.

Thanks,
weenie

*Not really, but I wouldn't put it past some of you.
**This part is actually true. It even came with a note written on HAUNTED PAISLEY...oooOOOooo! Man, that paisley was scary.

"Baaaaad Week!" said the sheep.

I’m having a bad week*. I feel out of control. I’m just so sad, and not for any reason in particular. Oh, and that also means I’m edgy and seething with rage. You know, for no reason whatsoever. I really should have some sort of warning hanging around my neck:

Beware. May Spontaneously Combust, and You Might Get Some On You.

Or:

Do Not Feed. Will Bite. And Butt Will Grow So Large** Its Gravitational Pull Will Drag You Right Into…Well, You Don’t Want to BE There, Trust Us.†

Or:

Insert Prozac Into Slot Mouth.††

So I’ve basically crawled into a hole and am trying to stay in here until it wears off. So sorry if I haven’t—and won’t—be coming by your blog for a bit. I will. But only after I feel a little more…or, rather, a little less…spiky?

This does NOT interrupt contests, by the way. If you're interested in that sort of thing. And my mood rollercoastering does not stop the advent of Halloween:

*Maybe quite a bit longer than that, really, but this week has been worse.

**Serious about this one. You know how I joined a gym recently, and I’ve been going regularly for a month or so now? Guess what? I’ve actually gained weight since going to the gym. Something doesn’t add up here. Or rather, it’s adding up too well and far too fast. What is this? I hit my thirties and my metabolism just gives up on me? COMPLETELY? $#@!&%$‡

†"Us" = Committee for More Explicit Signs. They are mostly trustworthy, but somewhat long-winded.

††The biggest reason I'm where I am right now is 'cause my prescription ran out just after the move--whoops!--and as soon as I sorted out all our new insurance info, I called up the doctor to make an appointment, and the soonest they could get me in was in TWO MONTHS. The good thing about that is that the two months is up next week--or is it the week after? The bad news is that Jeff and Jake have had to live with me like this for too long now, and I think they're considering moving out. Or doing me in. Or at least putting me in a cage in the back room somewhere, but then who would clean the toilets?

‡If you translated this swear out of its censored form and back into English, it would read “Swarthy Mother of Biscuits! Crunch-Worthy!!!” ...just in case you ever wondered what I was trying to hide behind all those ampersands and exclamation points.

Contest the Second

Y'know I can't stop at just one contest. That's no fun. So, I present to you the second Halloween contest for this year:


Here's the deal with this one. I'll post a picture, YOU write the caption. (And by "caption," I mean a caption, a thought bubble, a title, whatever text you see fit to apply. I'm not picky.) I'll even post more than one picture, so if one doesn't strike you right away, you can try another.

Now, for some pictures:

Picture 1 by artist Joe Olson:


Picture 2 by artist Kevin Keele:


Picture 3 by...oops. I have no idea where I got this one:


Leave your captions in the comment section, or email them to me.

For each entry you submit, I'll put your name in a drawing for a HALLOWEEN PACKAGE!!! So the more you enter, the better your chances, right? (No limit on number or frequency of entries.)

Oh, and if you want to put a link to this contest in your sidebar of your blog, here is the HTML (don't add it as a picture--add it as HTML or the link and the animation won't work):

<a href="http://muskadillo-dreaming.blogspot.com/2008/09/contest-second.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t193/muskadillo/captioncontest_small.gif" border="0" /></a>

Have fun. (And if you haven't submitted an entry for the other contest, do that, too.)

Original, untampered-with image of Death by Alex Fleisig;
lame thought bubble by me.