Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Fairy Tale Christmas

There are a few things that I have learned are not real. The Easter Bunny. The Great Pumpkin. Unicorns. Fairies, elves, and flying reindeer with glowing red noses. Things that make for pretty stories but that you never will encounter in real life.

I thought that snowflakes were one of these myths and legends perpetuated to make people feel just a little better about snow. After all, snowflakes don't look like this, now do they?

Our house is currently under three feet of snow, and a huge storm is expected to bring many more inches tomorrow. It's been snowing all day today, too, but not very seriously. The clouds are just stretching and warming up for the big day tomorrow. But as I was out attacking the glacier that is in our driveway, I noticed this snow looked a little different than any I had seen before. Sorta like instant potato flakes*. Then I looked a little closer.

Holy cow of the ancient milk goddess! THEY REALLY DO EXIST!

Look at these! I was afraid I wasn't going to get a good picture--but LOOK! You can see them in all their six-pointed wonder and delicate gorgeousosity! Here's a long shot:

And a close-up:
Did you SEE THEM?

And they made the teensy little tree we have out front look fabulous, too:

Close-up of tree branch:
Now it makes me wonder--what else is out there that I've taken for granted** is just a nice story we tell to make children's lives a little brighter? If I hear a prowler tomorrow night banging around in the house and attack him with the baseball bat that is under the bed, will I end up apologizing profusely to the Man in Red? Will he throw coal at me? Will he whip out his reindeer whip and go all manga on me?

Hmm. Merry Christmas to you!

*Which I never, EVER use. Oh no. I boil all my potatoes and mash them by hand. I grow the potatoes before I cook them, too. I have a potato field in my back yard, and a potato cellar in the garage.
**Another example of this is windshield washer fluid. It's something that I've always taken for granted, and believed would be there every time I pressed the button. However, it turns out if it gets cold enough, the stuff freezes. I had no idea. Apparently you are supposed to change the windshield washer fluid to a winter formula. Who would've guessed? (Also, if anyone has some really good tips about how to thaw out a washer fluid reservoir that is frozen solid, please let me know, 'kay?)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Blog-Hopping: An Off-Color Adventure

We've all done this: you get on the Internet with the simple intention of checking your email, and an hour later you find yourself about twenty clicks away looking at a YouTube movie of a cat playing the piano. Or something else much more disturbing, like a piano playing a cat.

This is the story of what I was doing last night. My intentions were simple enough--just five minutes to check on a blog or two I haven't been to in awhile--then I was going to go do the dishes, like I was supposed to've done right after dinner.

Anyway, Millie posted this fabulous Eric Snider link where he mocks Twilight*. Absolutely great stuff. Very funny. It had been awhile since I've read any Eric Snider, so I spent a few minutes poking around his blog, and found a link where a few people were mocking snippets from "Police Beat" in the Daily Universe. (If any of you are graduates of BYU and remember the Daily Universe, this may bring back fond memories.) I greatly enjoyed reading it, but it does start to get a little off-color. (I was not offended, but that doesn't mean much. My favorite bit by far was "Long Juan Silver." Just thinking about it right now is making me choke a little.)

Then I started snooping around that blog, and I found this. And laughed. (By now, my sides are hurting.) After you've clicked on that link, click here for some pictures of the...er...completed recipe. Oh, heavens.

And from there, I found yet another link to here (this one has its own pictures). Worse and worse, but I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

And then I went to bed. Right after I hurriedly scrubbed dishes and threw them in the dishwasher, that is.

And now I'd better post this and run off to the kitchen, because I'm already a half hour late starting dinner. (How does that happen? Blasted Internet. Wait--maybe I should just look on ebay for just a minute and see if anyone happens to be selling some self-discipline...)

*For you Twilight fanatics: Elastic posted something awhile back, too, which I enjoyed very much as well: a mock trailer for Twilight. If you haven't seen it yet, now is the time.