Tag, You're It! (huh?)
Melissa tagged me (two months ago, but whatever). Apparently, this is a "meme" (which is similar to a "mimi," yet not so French). Okay. And there are rules...
INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.
1) CuriosityKiller
2) Doggy Mama
3) Eve
4) Melissa
5) wynne
NEXT select five people to tag:
No.
If someone wants to do this, then, by all means, have at it. But I'm not going to tag anyone. I hope I never get tagged again. If I am, I just may pretend not to see it.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
What?!? I have to answer questions? What the crap is this? An interrogation? what if I can't remember where I was ten years ago, huh? (Let's see...that would be 1997, right?) Umm, college. And ten years ago in May I think I had just moved down to Provo from Ricks...and...yeah? Ten years ago July...
Can you believe I had never even heard of Mary Kay? Why, what is a Mary Kay party? Cosmetics, my friend told me. It seemed innocent enough. I am not afraid of a little lipstick or a free facial.
How very wrong I was.
The Mary Kay Consultant who was throwing this...er, party, was a Mary Kay Nazi. She lived in a pink house, drove a pink car, and had a pink kiss stamp with which she stamped anything she possibly could. She wore her makeup like armor (I imagine she needed a jackhammer to get it off each night), and flew her sexism like a flourescent pink banner: hard to miss.
Some of the things she told us that night as she tried to sell us her makeup:
"If you don't wear your makeup, you'll lose your man!" (She was divorced, a single mom, and was supporting her family by selling cosmetics. I wanted to ask her if she "lost her man" before or after she started selling makeup, but I refrained.)
"My son says that he doesn't like girls who don't wear makeup. He told me, 'Mom, they just don't attract me.' See? Wear your makeup!" (Her son was thirteen at the time, I believe.)
She said many other things, but I can't remember what they were because it was, you know, ten years ago. She probably did say things along these lines, however:
"The only thing that will attract a man is beauty, and you girls could sure use some work! Look at you—barely any makeup on you at all! Wow, you're all hideous!"
"Makeup is the sole reason why women were placed on this planet! We are meant to wear it and sell it and worship it with all our hearts!"
"I know that Mary Kay is true, and that her cosmetics are the only true cosmetics on the face of the earth today!"
"Would anyone like to see the Mary-Kay-signature tattoo on my bum?"
I was offended. Completely. I was so mad I could have shoved lipstick up her nose.Unfortunately for this fine specimen of Mary-Kay saleslady, I was a rabid feminist at the time, with some major issues I had still not dealt with. (Picture me at this time, if you can: hair was about an inch long all over my head, wearing boys' clothing, itching for a fight.) That poor woman.
Too bad I can't remember how it all ended. Did I blow up her pink house? Punch her in the nose? Douse her with makeup remover and laugh as she dissolved into a chemical puddle, screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting! AAAaaaaaaaa..."
However it ended, I'm sure it wasn't pretty, even if it did have makeup all over it.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Drat. Ran out of time. I'll have to finish this another day...
18 comments:
Thanks for the memories (I think)! It sounds like our parties were run by MK clones, reciting the exact same company script.
Apparently I entirely shook off the swarms of Mary Kay consultants when I left Provo -- knock on wood. Nary a one has buzzed by me since I settled in SLC. Utah Lake must be a prime breeding ground for them. They thrive on the damp, you see -- damp causes acne outbreaks and shiny noses, which makes people want to buy makeup.
Oh. My. Heck.
I've encountered some of the scarier Mary Kay clones, but not that one. Wow. What a piece of work.
Even with artistic license thrown in. =P
You funny!
HA! I had a MK Nazi attack me one time too...
And I apologize for the tag. I promise to NEVER do it again. Unless I want to torture you or something...
Love it!!!! I have met far too many of this brand of seller. I know this product is true....
I use mary kay's face wash and lotion for exremely dry skin, oh, and the eye make up remover. My mary kay lady has lately started talking to me about products for fighting signs of aging....Curse her, but she's right--my wrinkles ain't gettin' any smoother....
Before I ever bought anything from her I had a stern talking to with her about the fact that I will never want to be a model for her, that I will never want to sell her products to other people.
I have hair right now that is less than an inch long on most of my head--in fact, most of my haircut involves clippers :) I love short hair!
hi wynne: good day, mate. you made me snicker when i read that you refrained from asking her if she lost her man before or after she sold makeup. that is funny how she was saying you will lose a man if you don't wear this and she was divorced! i totally enjoyed reading your post today girl. you crack me up. cheers, kathleen :)
Inch-long hair!!
Hippie!!
^_^
I didn't mean to say that all MK consultants are evil. I like makeup, and I love free makeup, and I always left those parties with free makeup. I just didn't like the hard-sell that involved mangling the self-esteem of zitty co-eds and then building them back up on a foundation of....foundation.
I'm sure there are plenty of MK employees who are not at all this way. I just didn't meet any of them in Provo. :)
marie--Aren't MK consultants great? I actually know tons of people that sell the stuff, and they are mostly harmless, kind people. Mostly. The first experience was scarring, though.
kim--thanks, dear. Matter of fact, this consultant's name was Kim. But that's not your fault.
melissa--oh, it's not like you twisted my arm or anything to do the meme. (You would have to next time, though.) Thanks for tagging me, anyway.
elizabeth--Timewise, right? I'd use it myself if the results were guaranteed, and if it were a little less expensive. *sigh* And if I didn't have to buy it from some rabid woman wearing, drooling, selling pink...wait--I only met one that was like that again. MK consultants are mostly nice people. Have to keep reminding me of that.
kathleen--I'm so glad you're back from that nasty Nevada! Thanks for dropping by. I need to come see you, don't I? (I can never keep up with your blog, you post so much!)
panda--I can't tell you how much I want to get a mohawk, but Jeff's not going for it. He's not really going for anything above my shoulders. *sigh* Which is the only reason I have hair.
Did I just call you "panda"? Oh, not being able to edit your comments after clicking "post!" Boo!
hi wynne: you keep making me smile and snicker, i love it. nevada was 116 and 120 for the 2 1/2 days we were there. yicky! and when we left nevada, the radiator was acting up, so we had to run the HEATER while driving it for about two hours before the motorhome started acting normal again and we could turn off the heater. i was the driver during this time and i felt SO STUPID, hard to make decisions during that 120 degrees with the heater running. such a fun memory :) i am just trying to imagine you in a mohawk at an enrichment night participating in the agenda items. wow! wild girl. chow baby, kathleen :)
AAAAAAHHH!
120 degrees is just not right.
i love living in alaska, where here in the summer, usually the hottest we get is 75 degrees. no joke. yep, 120 is just not right! :) kat
Nope. Can't do the timewise stuff. It's too drying for me. I have used mary kay for more than 20 years b/c they have stuff for superdry skin. They have this lotion that is like crisco. I love it!
Would it surprise you to know I got my man partially based on the fact that I don't wear makeup? Irritated by former girlfriends who spent half their life primping and preening, Papi decided he liked a natural woman who could 'go with the flow.'
I'm a very natural woman.
Kind of shoots down a Mary Kay sales pitch, doesn't it?
I do like MK products, used them for years, though I am not in love with their selling tactics. I had a cousing that tried unsucessfully for a couple of years to get me to sell it too. I finally had to move away from her. ;) Actually she moved first!
Wow!! A Mary Kay testimony...Don't you just love it??
And that pic of Mary Kay is just SCARY!
I don't do make up!
I have sworn off all parties...Pampered Chef, Mary Kay...you name it, I skip it! I just can't stand it anymore!
where is my wynne today? how are you sweetie? he he. when i first wrote it, it looked liked sweaty instead of sweetie. so glad i could amuse myself in your absence. hope your day is as great as you are girl, take care, kathleen :)
hey wynne: i saw a MARY KAY sticker on some lady's SUV yesterday after work when i went to costco! i immediately thought of darling you and your hitler mary kay experience, wear this or you will lose a man, no soup for you!! heil! he he. made me smile to see the sticker on the lady's card cause of you girl. happy trails, kathleen :)
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