(Contest still on, by the way.)
It's all Jeff's fault. See, he got me some books for Christmas. It surprised me, because I remember telling him that even though I enjoyed these particular books, I didn't have any particular desire to own them.
The books are actually a boxed set of three—the first two books I had already read, but I hadn't read the last yet—and I set them in the back bedroom and pretended they weren't there.
My husband noticed. He wanted to know why, after having them for a month, I hadn't read them yet. Did I want him to take them back?
No, see, I was avoiding them for a reason. These particular books are DANGEROUS. Once you pick them up, you can't put them down again. But to appease the poor husband, I started with the third book—the one I hadn't read—devoured it in two days, and then I went back and started with the first book again, then on to the second. Then the third book, again.
Then I went into mourning because I had read them all and there was nothing more to read, and I kinda...skimmed through them all again.
Pathetic. Now you know where I've been.
But wait, it gets worse.
I went online. Did you know that there are HUNDREDS of web sites dedicated to this set of novels? There are forums, chat rooms, fan-art sites, graphics, debates—it's everywhere. I still couldn't get the dumb story out of my head that I (cringe) did something I never thought I would do, ever: I made some (wince) fan art. I really, really can't believe I did that.
See? (Click for the full-size version. Actually, now that I see it uploaded here in the small version, it looks lousy. Please click for the better-looking version. Please?) And oh, there are more!
The worst part about all of this is I soooo don't have the time to be wasting on this sort of thing. But I couldn't help it! It was taking over my life!
I think that I'm finally coming out of it. The haze has lifted from my eyes. And I have decided that something needs to be done for society at large. These books are extremely addictive and cause people to obsess over them to an unhealthy degree. (Seriously. Go google the main character's names and see what you find.) The Surgeon General has been ignoring my phone calls and the petition I sent in to get these books classified as controlled substances (that S.G. is pretty hoity-toity, if you ask me), and so I have decided it was necessary to take the next step by myself. I have established an organization for those who wish to recover from the adverse effects of reading these books. See:
Please check in. No one here will bite you***. Or phase into any sort of beast. Together, we can recover from this debilitating addiction. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires, and in the words of *sigh* Edward Cullen: "Be safe."
*Meaning, quite specifically: the lady with the waistband of elastic, melissa the mejojac, insane kim (but she says it's temporary), carrottiest of all jell-os, NCS!!! ("nifty craft sack"), jean knee-jerk reaction, grateful to be kathleen, the dorkelina formerly known as pandy, the dread pirate...chloe?, and kristine. There. Now you know exactly who I have links to in my nav bar. Whee.
**Actually, if you hadn't noticed by now, I'm rather miserable about blogging consistently. Life constantly gets in the way, and I let it, because I'm like that, and so is life, and blogging is just a hobby, after all. So my attendance on your blog will ALWAYS be sketchy. But it's not because you aren't loved. 'Cause you are loved. So take that and like it.
***Well, if they are really into the books, they might. But I promise that sort of activity will NOT be tolerated, and the bite-ees will promptly be bitten back by yours truly.