Adieu, Centralia! (Part deux)

By now, we are driving and on our way to Spokane. I am in the car with Jake. Jeff is in the car with two cats. (Which car would you rather be in? Neither? That is the correct guess! Jasper meows the WHOLE WAY non-stop and we don't know what Chloe will do, but Jake is fine as long as you keep him supplied with movies, toys, books, and food while you drive.)

Somewhere on the road about now, I'm going to get misty-eyed because I am leaving behind GREEN. Lots of it. Now, don't get me wrong—Spokane is a beautiful city with plenty of trees, but I know there are a few things it won't have...like the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.


So now, a sentimental ode (in the spirit of my son's favorite bedtime-story author) to the things we're leaving behind:

Goodbye, hostas and ferns.

Goodbye, backyard burns.

Goodbye, my dearest sweet Floyd*,
and goodbye to the squirrels who drove you into the void...




Goodbye, moss.



Goodbye, hoss.



Goodbye, wee tree frogs.



Goodbye, misty fall fogs.



Goodbye, bird-eaten cherries.



Goodbye, dandelion-filled prairies.



Goodbye, uh, whatever this is...?



Goodbye forever, lawyering biz.



Goodbye, goodbye to flowers profuse!



(Man, am I sick of reading Dr. Seuss!**)

*A Floyd update—I actually went back to where I found him originally, and he was no longer there! No idea what happened to him, but this time I suspect a young, love-struck black bear who coerced a deer and a marmot into re-building and hotwiring Floyd so the young bear could impress a certain young lady bear by cruising by her cave...I'm just sad I never got to plant flowers on Floyd's hood before he left...
**This post is proof that I've had to read waaaaaaay to much of him lately. You read Dr. Seuss and, like a catchy and horrible song overplayed on the radio, you can't get the rhymes out of your head. Stupid Sneeches. Stupid Horton. Stuuuupid Cat. *sigh*

Adieu, Centralia! (Part 1)

Right now, my computer is packed away in a box.

And yet, I am still posting.

How is this miracle possible?

OooOOOOooo...

I don't know, but I'm sure there's a ghost involved.

Or maybe a high-tech space virus that hacks into the intersphere* and spews gibberish onto the Internet.

Or lots of tiny blue men with green hair and that smell like cardamom, and whenever they do a dance and spin to the right, it rains, but if they spin to the left, cows give birth to cockatoos.

Or maybe it's actually July 24th when I'm typing this (moving day is still a little less than a week away) and I know how to time-travel. Yup. And if you send me a mere $50, I'll teach you how to do it, too!

I'm at the point right now in packing that I have stopped CARING about what goes in a box. There was a time when I was carefully packing things and padding them with plenty of paper, labeling the boxes with accuracy, planning which things to pack NOW and which could wait a week or 1.5 days...now, I just don't care. Grab a box and shovel in whatever happens to be close to it, whether it be garbage, clothing, kid, or cat. Who cares? I'm thinking that it's fun to kick a sealed box around until something crashes and tinkles around inside, and then I have a fun time trying to guess what I just broke 'cause the box is cleverly labeled "stuff."

Mmm-hmm.

I think that, right now, I'm a little woozy from the fumes rising off of the adhesive on the extra-strength tape...or is it from the fumes from the Sharpy markers? Or, perhaps, the boxes are poisoning the atmosphere with cardboard-derived stress. Whatever it is, I'm feeling a little unstable.

But I did want to say goodbye to this place that's been my home for the past year. While I can still type. So, here it goes:

GOOD RIDDANCE, RENTAL FROM HELL!
GOOD RIDDANCE, CAT PEE SMELL!
GOODBYE, CHEAP-ARSE LANDLORD!
GOODBYE, SPIDER SMORGASBOARD!
FAREWELL, STINKY BROKEN KITCHEN!
FAREWELL, BACKLOGGED SEPTIC SYSTEM!
I HOPE NEVER TO SEE AGAIN
A PLACE AS NASTY AS THIS HAS BEEN!

love, wynne

Here, a portrait:


Well, actually, this is a picture of the house across the street, but it basically looks like the one we were living in, except that ours is blue, and our wading pool does not have dead plants in it.

*Yeah, I have no idea what this is.

Pathetic

For those of you who haven't guessed by now, we're moving.
At the end of this month.
To Spokane.
I've been making some new friends in the process. Here's one:


I think I shouldn't even bother announcing the fact that I'm going on hiatus anymore. Rather, you should just assume that I am on hiatus unless I mention otherwise.

Really. That's just how pathetic of a blogger I am.


And if you want to hear more about my pathetique (yeah, I know that's not a word, but it SHOULD be), today's my birthday. And these are the guys I get to spend it with.

Boxes.

Hungry, demanding, whiny boxes who bring me no cake and make fun of me.

I deserve it though, I suppose.

I have been horrible with birthdays this year. Nearly every year, really. Think about it: did I send YOU anything for your birthday?

I didn't? What a surprise.

I haven't even been to your blog in six months?

Has it really been that long?

It has?

*wincing*

See? Pathetic.
I suppose I had better get back to stuffing boxes. They are clamoring for more...stuff.

*sigh*


And if you're feeling sorry for me, I guess you can feel better about it by leaving me a virtual present. Costs nothing, and no postage? Does it get better than that?