The Hallowieners!

Who won the contests, you want to know.

First, let me say that I am a lousy judge. What was I thinking having a contest? Was I hoping that you would fall all over yourselves trying to impress me?

Maaaaaybe.

After all, how often does a girl get a chance to watch people fall all over themselves? (This was a first for me. Not that anyone fell all over themselves, but I have a good imagination, and
I can pretend you did.)

Enough digression.

The weiners:


Grand-prize wieners* are

Marie

and

Elastic.


I have grand plans to put up all the entries soon--some of these were just brilliant** (Sharon, you are getting a runner-up prize, I swear, and Jen, Baa Baa Grim Reaper made me laugh aloud, that's quite a feat, and did anyone see Kristine's link to that haunted house?)--so be looking for it.

Right now is not the time, however. There are closet doors to be painted; a broken fireplace to...er, "etch" is the term, I suppose; a child to play with and to get dressed; and a cat--well, I have no idea what he wants, but he won't stop meowing. He may be spending the day in the garage.

Oh, and here's a Halloween fix for the day:

*If you didn't win the grand-wiener prize, don't sweat it. The last thing I want to do is make somebody's day crappy because they didn't win some dumb contest by some dumb wynne. I'm still going to try and send you something. I may not be able to send EVERYONE something--Jeff just might pass out if I tried to do that--but I'm gonna do my best to spread Halloween cheer.
**And Jean Knee had a link that will keep you busy for a looong time, and carrot send some links that scared the crapouttame, and Danielle went out of her way to send me games, and...and...and...I'm gonna stop now, but they all were great.

Another Halloween Fix

Okey-dokey. More Halloween just-for-fun links. Now with 25% less fat!

If you post this one on your blog, please link it so I can see it:

A classic (it's safe, Melissa, I promise):


If someone can find a better Halloween-related Strongbad email that this, let me know:


A waste of time. Utterly. But I really like the design of the game:



And I loooove this one (NCS, after you click, the very last picture on the bottom right is for YOU):



Also, you only have this weekend plus a Monday to get your contest entries in! Would it help if I said just by entering you may get something*? Does it help to know you can enter as much as you like? That anonymous entries are accepted via email**? That you would really make my Halloween if you do enter something? Please?

*Supplies limited, act now.
** For all you lurkers out there. My email is muskadillo at hotmail dot com, by the way.

I'm Jammin' Now!

Guess what I did yesterday?

That's right. Finally put all those blackberries I picked in their proper place: a jar.

Was it "easy"? Was it "fun"?

Well, it would have been a heck of a lot more enjoyable if one toddler wasn't sobbing inconsolably because he had been jumping on the couch (an illegal activity) and had a pillow smack him in the eye, another vomiting on the carpet, and another growling like a bear with poo streaming down his leg.*

That's right. If you have a toddler, DON'T CAN.

Besides that, there was an awful lot of boiling water (I burned myself plenty of times), stickiness, bubbling cauldrons, and cackling.

Will I do it again? Super Mormon Mom, who was my guide through this whole process, says that when I open that first can of jam and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing I canned it myself, I will probably want to do this again.

Yeah, FAT, HAIRY CHANCE.

*It didn't start out this way. Oh, no. It was serene and peaceful, the children quiet and docile, when we started. It wasn't until we were at the end--y'know, throwing the actual bubbling stuff into jars as quickly as we could, like you're supposed to--that all hell broke loose. Of course.

So, We Meet Again

The first time I met this tree, I fell head-over-heels in love with it.

Simply gorgeous tree. Look at those broad green leaves! Look at the graceful overall shape! Look at the FLOWERS!

When I first met it, I remember lying on my back and staring up into its leaves and flowers, practically hypnotized by it. And for some reason, no one could tell me what its name was (which was ridiculously ironic, seeing how I was working as a "gardener" for BYU Grounds at the time, and none of the head "gardeners" could tell me the name of one tree). It took me nine years before I finally learned that it is called the Indian Bean Tree or Catalpa (the name is misleading: it is not a transplant from India--it is native to the US).

Here's a close-up of the flowers:
I mean, really, could a tree be any more beautiful? I was enthralled.

Until I had a dream about it.

See, my subconscious regularly produces a carnival of odd and flashy images for my nighttime enjoyment. Take, for example, the Barbie Wheel o' Destruction1, the Magical Flying Church Pew2, The Time-Traveling Tent of Whiteness3, or Elisa versus the 1000 Legolases4. It even messes up the simple exercise of counting sheep5.

My subconscious also has a nasty habit of taking things that I find beautiful and wonderful and changing them into something that is horrible and terrifying6. (Why it plays such a mean trick is between me and my subconscious, but I'm getting wise to that sucker.)

It took this beautiful tree and had each flower dipped in blood and burning with a flame that consumed nothing. That's it. Just a really freaky symbol7. Oh, and did I mention the overwhelming sense of EVIL I felt in my dream?

Thanks a lot, subconscious. I've never been able to look at this tree the same way since. *shudder*

P.S. Oct 10: I just found a contest for "things that scare you" and I just entered this post. Maybe you should post something, too! (Just don't neglect my contests...)

1. Yes, I'm serious. Picture a monster truck arena, spotlights flashing all over the place, and the announcer booms, "AND NOW PRESENTING THE BARBIE WHEEL O' DESTRUCTION!!!" And it appears: something like a tractor with a humongous hamster wheel attached to the front, and inside the wheel are trapped many scantily-clad, heavily-makeuped women. Angry women. Then more gates open up in the sides of the arena, and many terrified young men named Ken are released into the arena. And the Barbie Wheel o' Destruction chases after each, and the women rip him to shreds while shouting rather lewd and degrading things at him. Yes, I did have some huge issues with feminism and men in my life; yes, I have been to therapy; and no, I am not making this dream up.
2. I had a dream about being bored at church. And I found two buttons under the seat. I pressed one, and the pew shot straight up through the ceiling and flew me all the way to my grandma's house in Peru. I don't have a grandmother who lives in Peru, but that's dreams for ya.
3. Yup. You went in to the tent. It was very white. When you came out again, you were in a different time. No biggie.
4. I really enjoyed this one. My friend Elisa (hi, dear! I see you lurking!!), like so many others, was smitten by the loveliness that is Orlando Bloom. I had a dream that was populated with nothing but Legolases: there were good ones, mean ones, punk ones (mohawks and all), rogue ones (buzzed heads), cowards and heroes, even a female version of Legolas: but they were all Legolas. And poor Elisa was sitting in a corner wringing her hands because she couldn't decide which one she wanted.
5. You'd think counting sheep would be simple. Sheep jump over a fence, one by one, and they each have a number on them. No big deal, right? But sheep #8 did a backflip, and sheep #9 levitated right over. Which surprised me so much I laughed myself right out of my near-sleep state.
6. Don't ask me about my dreams about carnivals or grandfather clocks. Eek.
7. And I've tried looking it up, too. But I never did find out what it was supposed to mean. Maybe in another nine years?

Halloween Fix for Today*

I fully intended to get online today to post, to respond to posts, to go blogsurfing, etc., but instead, I got sidetracked. Very. Would you like to see what sidetracked me?

Go ahead and click on 'em. (Clarification dedicated to Marie: Or, in other words, each of the pictures below is a link, and if you click on it, it will take you to what I really wanted you to see.)

A great...uh...children's...? book:

Melissa, this one won't scare even you, I promise. Go ahead and click:



And this is definitely for the "what in the weird?" stack:



By the way,

HAVE YOU ENTERED ONE OF MY CONTESTS YET?
(Or both. And there is no limit to how many times you enter. And there is no reason not to enter. C'mon, it's not like anyone has entered anything anyway (except for just a few links, and I NEED MORE. And aren't you dying to know what's in the prize package?)

*I'd like to say that I could post something Halloweenie every day, but I can't. So maybe a better post title would've been "Halloween Fix for the Week." Whatever.

Another Way to Waste Your Time

Okay, so this isn't strictly Halloween-esque, but it's still a great way to waste your time. Click on the site's link (PICTAPS) and draw your own critter that will dance around for you. Send me a link, etc.

Halloween Reads

Do you like Halloween, but you're having trouble getting into that spooky spirit? Do what I do, and pick up a good book to read. Here are some classics, and some favorites, that are bound to get you in the mooooooooood.


Tales of Mystery and Madness
by Edgar Allen Poe
illustrated by Gris Grimly

Yeah, yeah, you know about Poe already--he is standard Halloween fare. Yes. But go find this version. The illustrations are SO worth it! It includes two of my favorite Poe stories: Fall of the House of Usher and The Masque of the Red Death, and two favorites since I received this book (Rebecca, thank you again and again for this, I LOVE IT), The Black Cat and Hop-Frog.







The Magic Circle
by Donna Jo Napoli

Napoli is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. The more I read of her, the more I love her. She tells beautiful stories.

This one is about a witch. Not just about a witch, but how she came to be a witch. And how and why she built a house of candy in the woods, and what really happened when Hansel and Gretel found it. Wonderful book about good versus evil, beautiful story about redemption. Oh, just go and read it already!






Something Wicked This Way Comes
by Ray Bradbury

Another classic. If you have never read this one before, perhaps this year is the year to go and pick it up from the library. It's a good read, plenty spooky, and though the ending falls a wee bit flat for some, it works for me.








Tamsin
by Peter S. Beagle

This is one of my favorite books of all time, but I feel I need to recommend it with a warning: people either love Beagle, or they can't stand him. I don't know why. But if you hated The Last Unicorn, probably skip this one. Also, the heroine is a thirteen-year-old snot who changes drastically throughout the book, in a good way. However, she starts off as a thirteen-year-old snot, and her actions and language reflect that. So be warned. Also, it takes a long time to actually get to the spooky stuff, 100 pages or so? Just so you know.

And now that the warning is out of the way--I LOVE THIS BOOK! You want ghosts? English folklore of things that go bump in the night? Ever heard of the Wild Hunt? Interested in a bit of darker English history? You can't read a book that will get you more in the mood, I don't think (I just finished it again).




The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
by Washington Irving
(or any number of folk that have retold it)

Always a classic. Even if you prefer to watch it on film, there are a large variety of films to choose from (though I would stick to either the Disney version or the Tim Burton version, myself).








Why are you still here? Go to the library, already!