Monday, May 5, 2008

Overheard

While I was exiting the public library the other day:

"...wouldn't have sold them unless it was an emergency. You know how I feel about my knives. My knives are my babies."
Yeah.

I have to wonder, though, did this guy have to get up in the middle of the night with his knives? Do knives require burping? Sheath changing?

Does he really consider them to be his children? If they are his "babies," what did he...uh, do to conceive them? Is it possible that anyone who watches television these days (and I assume this fellow does watch television) could be this confused about reproduction?

But it's fine by me if this guy is confused. It's better that some individuals from the human species don't reproduce. Umm, in the traditional way, anyway.

16 comments:

Melissa said...

YOU'RE BACK! Clever and witty as ever, I see.
Hmm... knife reproduction... I'm not sure about that... but I bet you can find something on wikipedia.

Elizabeth-W said...

So....if I am missing you big time, and I email you to make sure you're still alive, you'll post something hilarious?
Is that the deal? I just want to get my facts straight.
Have you ever heard of Cutco? It's like Tupperware for knives.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is just too funny! I love the picture!!

Annie Oldham said...

I was so excited to see a post from you! I was starting to get worried...

Super Happy Girl said...

You are here!!!!
YES!!


Stay forever, k?

Super Happy Girl said...

It's a baby girl knife.
Awwww.

Unknown said...

If you want an endless supply of funny things people say, I suggest one of my favorite sites: Overheard in New York..

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/


Here are three previews:

Eight-old-girl: What is aged cheese?
Dad: You age cheese to make it better.
Eight-old-girl: You do?
Dad: Like whiskey.
Eight-old-girl: Ahhhh, I see.

(overheard on A Train)


[On Ash Wednesday]

Female pastor: Come get ashy for Jesus, no credit, bad credit, God don't care. Come get your blessing! Free Jesus with all ash.

Daily newspaper hawker: Daily News, 50 cents, Jesus for free!


Boy to mom: Mom -my dradle commands me.
Mom: Ummmm... Okay honey... I'm not sure its supposed to do that.

Kristine said...

so you do still exist. good thing for Google reader cause i gave up checking your blog every day for the last 4 months to see nothing.

The Wynn Family said...

I so glad your back.. I needed a good laugh!

wynne said...

You are all making some pretty big assumptions...how do you know I'm truly "back," after all? Maybe this is just your imagination...

(thanks for the link, d'arcy. Heh heh.)

Carrot Jello said...

Phew! You're back! I was just lamenting the fact that you were still gone yesterday, and now you're back. You're really, really back.
Thank you.

Meghan said...

Glad to see you back in the blogging circle! I needed a good dose of Wynne.

Anonymous said...

I was sending you some pretty intense psychic energy with regard to blogging just a couple of days ago.

Mwahaha.

Marie said...

Ding dong, the Wynne is back!
(Which one Wynne? My favorite Wynne!)
Ding dong, my favorite Wynne is back!

Nevermind conception -- think about the birth! The baby that provides its own episiotomy....?

[Shudder.]

Where do you go to hear these fantastic things? It's really not fair that the universe gives you such funny people to blog about when you're capable of making *anything* funny.

[Pout.]

Oh, and thanks for sending all your readers over to my blog. They're a highly witty bunch.

wynne said...

AAACK! The baby that provides its own episiotomy! AAAAAAAHHH!

Unknown said...

that knife with the bow ... hilarious