What if—

What if I were to sneak on here...

...

...

...

...

...

...and post this picture:

It would be okay, wouldn't it?

The world wouldn't end. (Or begin, for that matter.)

Shh.

It's Official

I've been trying to deny the obvious for too long. I probably should've given up the blog a year ago--but I just wasn't able to do it (thanks to all you wonderful people and your blogs I'm addicted to). But now--it's official. My creative energies are being focused in another direction. You can catch me on facebook or by email if you want to chat.

And I'll come back to this again someday.

When the time is right.

The Tooth, The Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth

This post has nothing to do with religion, elevators, chocolate, road trips, etc. Yeah, yeah—I'll get to that, sure—but right now, it's time to write about the tooth. My son recently turned five. On the morning of his birthday, he nonchalantly mentioned while masticating and sprinkling cereal over the tabletop, in equal amounts, that he had a loose tooth. It clearly wasn't a big deal to him; he knew it would come out and he would leave it under his pillow for the tooth fairy, end of story. For me, it was a little alarming. Isn't this a little...early? The kid's body has been trying to grow up way too fast on me. He's 99^th percentile for his height—he always shocked people when he told them he was four—and now a loose tooth on the MORNING of his fifth birthday? When is the onset of puberty going to be? The morning of his sixth birthday? Then he'll being home his fiancee when he's seven...sheesh. So he's been carefully nursing his loose tooth, and won't allow anyone to touch it, and has been extremely proud of it, and has been contemplating what the tooth fairy will bring him. The other morning I was brushing his teeth, and he stopped to swallow the toothpaste (I can't get him to spit it out to save my life), and...the tooth was gone. He swallowed it. Yup. This worried him. How would the tooth fairy get it now? He was also worried about what was going to happen to the tooth. We told him not to worry: one night while he was fast asleep, the tooth fairy would come into his bedroom and slit open his belly with a blade made from a shark tooth and take the tooth out. No, we did NOT tell him that*. I don't want to pay that therapy bill. No, we just had him write a note to the tooth fairy explaining what happened, and see what she would do. Turns out the tooth fairy is very understanding and doesn't mind getting her hands dirty. She left him a little note and a dollar. *Nor did I tell him that the tooth fairy was a rather demented soul who looked like this. I didn't even tell him that the reason the tooth fairy collects children's teeth is because she craves calcium, and though she'd much rather take your entire skull to munch on—or better yet, your entire skeleton—but she's too small to carry away that much. So she just settles for a tooth. (So many golden opportunities to ruin this child, and I keep passing them up.)

Blogging: Why Bother?

I first started blogging because of Marie. She is one of my favorite people, and her gray matter sparkles and scintillates...honestly. One of the first things I noticed about her when I met her was all the glitter and sparks pouring out her ears.

And Marie started a blog. I started to read it. And I learned all sorts of things about Marie that I didn't know before, and I loved her all the more for it.

So I thought, if this is a way to get to know people better and in different ways than you otherwise would, I'm signing up. I think that's pretty cool.

Of course, I don't know if me blogging really meets that aim for anyone—I have no idea why you people come and read anything here at all, to tell you the truth. And lately—well, I haven't been all that inspired to blog at all. I've been doing other things. I haven't even read any blogs lately (which is super-lame, considering how many wonderful people I'm letting myself get out-of-touch with...just sad. I've got about 200+ unread entries on google reader nagging at me).

I need to inspire myself to get back into this a bit. So, I'm going to let you, the unfortunate reader who has stumbled onto this blog, to choose a post topic. I'll let the first three commenters (if there are any) decide whether you want to read a post about:

• my family
• a roadtrip
• an elevator story
  
• my religious problem
• chocolate
• or anything you want me to write about?
  

Thanks. And now, my latest obsession. Click to listen:

Fairy Tale Christmas

There are a few things that I have learned are not real. The Easter Bunny. The Great Pumpkin. Unicorns. Fairies, elves, and flying reindeer with glowing red noses. Things that make for pretty stories but that you never will encounter in real life.

I thought that snowflakes were one of these myths and legends perpetuated to make people feel just a little better about snow. After all, snowflakes don't look like this, now do they?

Our house is currently under three feet of snow, and a huge storm is expected to bring many more inches tomorrow. It's been snowing all day today, too, but not very seriously. The clouds are just stretching and warming up for the big day tomorrow. But as I was out attacking the glacier that is in our driveway, I noticed this snow looked a little different than any I had seen before. Sorta like instant potato flakes*. Then I looked a little closer.

Holy cow of the ancient milk goddess! THEY REALLY DO EXIST!

Look at these! I was afraid I wasn't going to get a good picture--but LOOK! You can see them in all their six-pointed wonder and delicate gorgeousosity! Here's a long shot:

And a close-up:
Did you SEE THEM?

And they made the teensy little tree we have out front look fabulous, too:

Close-up of tree branch:
Now it makes me wonder--what else is out there that I've taken for granted** is just a nice story we tell to make children's lives a little brighter? If I hear a prowler tomorrow night banging around in the house and attack him with the baseball bat that is under the bed, will I end up apologizing profusely to the Man in Red? Will he throw coal at me? Will he whip out his reindeer whip and go all manga on me?

Hmm. Merry Christmas to you!


*Which I never, EVER use. Oh no. I boil all my potatoes and mash them by hand. I grow the potatoes before I cook them, too. I have a potato field in my back yard, and a potato cellar in the garage.
**Another example of this is windshield washer fluid. It's something that I've always taken for granted, and believed would be there every time I pressed the button. However, it turns out if it gets cold enough, the stuff freezes. I had no idea. Apparently you are supposed to change the windshield washer fluid to a winter formula. Who would've guessed? (Also, if anyone has some really good tips about how to thaw out a washer fluid reservoir that is frozen solid, please let me know, 'kay?)

Blog-Hopping: An Off-Color Adventure

We've all done this: you get on the Internet with the simple intention of checking your email, and an hour later you find yourself about twenty clicks away looking at a YouTube movie of a cat playing the piano. Or something else much more disturbing, like a piano playing a cat.

This is the story of what I was doing last night. My intentions were simple enough--just five minutes to check on a blog or two I haven't been to in awhile--then I was going to go do the dishes, like I was supposed to've done right after dinner.

Anyway, Millie posted this fabulous Eric Snider link where he mocks Twilight*. Absolutely great stuff. Very funny. It had been awhile since I've read any Eric Snider, so I spent a few minutes poking around his blog, and found a link where a few people were mocking snippets from "Police Beat" in the Daily Universe. (If any of you are graduates of BYU and remember the Daily Universe, this may bring back fond memories.) I greatly enjoyed reading it, but it does start to get a little off-color. (I was not offended, but that doesn't mean much. My favorite bit by far was "Long Juan Silver." Just thinking about it right now is making me choke a little.)

Then I started snooping around that blog, and I found this. And laughed. (By now, my sides are hurting.) After you've clicked on that link, click here for some pictures of the...er...completed recipe. Oh, heavens.

And from there, I found yet another link to here (this one has its own pictures). Worse and worse, but I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

And then I went to bed. Right after I hurriedly scrubbed dishes and threw them in the dishwasher, that is.

And now I'd better post this and run off to the kitchen, because I'm already a half hour late starting dinner. (How does that happen? Blasted Internet. Wait--maybe I should just look on ebay for just a minute and see if anyone happens to be selling some self-discipline...)

*For you Twilight fanatics: Elastic posted something awhile back, too, which I enjoyed very much as well: a mock trailer for Twilight. If you haven't seen it yet, now is the time.

gratitude

I've got an awful lot to be grateful for. For example, did you know that chocolate did not EXIST in the solid bar form prior to 1830? That's right. People just drank it, like coffee. Sad.

I am also extremely grateful for electricity, which makes other wonderful things such as central heat, air conditioning, refrigerators, and computers possible. I mean, where would I be without my electric throw wrapped around me as I type this? And microwaves make hot chocolate just about instant, which is a wonderful thing on a chilly night like this. (It's been below freezing.)

Also, deodorant and toothpaste. Need I say more? Yes. I am grateful for soap. Scented, bubbly soap that does not smell like lard or ash (which is what soap used to be made of...though I don't know if I believe it...)

I'm grateful for great big things, things like health--mine and other family members--and the Gospel, and family, and people who set a world's record by making a gigantic cookie.

I'm grateful for silly things, like knock-knock jokes and presidential elections.

And I'm grateful for you. Thanks for stopping by. Here, some more of what I'm grateful for: my digital camera and the beautiful world we live in:




































Happy Thanksgiving!