Huntin' fer Spoort
My exposure to the hunting community has been very slight. It's true that I did live in Rexburg, Idaho for awhile, and I did live in Utah for several years, but still—I never really knew the people who actually went huntin'. I knew they were there, I made assumptions about them, but I didn't know any of them personally. Like Monster Truck Rallys and Nascar—things I knew were there, but never really took much notice of?
There was always a roommate who admitted that her cousins went, or I used to work as a cashier in a dinky grocery store in Provo and people would come in and buy permits, beer, and orange vests—but somehow, I never really noticed.
It's a little harder not to notice them here. For example, I was driving down a street that I drive down nearly every day and saw this:
My first thought was, aww, how sweet. He got himself a new pet.
My second thought was, why does no one know how to spell?
Third: What a weird thing to put on a sign. Did he give birth to it or something? Like he had a baby. "Don't have a cow, man" has suddenly translated into "cool, you had a moose! Way to go!"
Fourth: Is a moose an award? Is it small-town code for an award from the Elk's Club? Do they have an Elk's Club here? What is an Elk's Club, anyway? Why is an Elk's Club?
In the middle of these musings (by now, across town and far, far away from the sign), I noticed the decal on the back of the truck in front of me.
Fifth thought: Oh no. He killed it.
And now I can't stop noticing it. These huntin' fools are all over this small town.
(Well, actually, that billboard is in Alaska, but still.)
My point is, now that I've begun to notice them, I've begun to notice something very straaaaange about them: I think they are afraid of women. For example, look at this one:
And here's yet another:
Um. Well.But it gets weirder. I saw this decal on the back window of a big ol' Ford one day:
So, what exactly is that sticker trying to say? Deer are sexy? You want to shoot things you are attracted to? What exactly is going on out there in the woods?
I'm afraid. Very afraid.
22 comments:
Perhaps you need to start wearing orange... and don't ever wear your hair in pigtails - they might be mistaken for antlers.
I think I understand the mentality of hunting... sneaking around, surprising your prey... it's how I caught my husband. It's the killing part that I just don't get. Especially those that kill, but don't use the meat. They kill just to kill... then again, if a man or woman has that need to kill something - I'd rather they take it out on a moose than on me. I'm just sayin....:)
That is way too creepy. I think those stickers are creepy to begin with, but whey you add a deer head to the thing...EEEeeeee!
You might have heard this story....When we moved here we'd literally been in the state about 5 minutes and we a saw a bumper sticker reading "Charlton Heston is MY President".
We almost turned around and went back to Portland.
Also, for the first Mother's Day we were here...I was listening to the radio, and the men were asking what women wanted for mother's day...one woman called in and said she was hoping for "ammo".
The problem is that women are really into hunting here, too. What used to be sacred ground for men only, is now being overrun by women and it makes those men mad!
Finally,
you know why you never take just one mormon with you when you go hunting? ........
He'll drink all yer beer!
it's about time you got back Wynne. I missed ya
I love hunting and all these years I didn't share that with you. Yep I went hunting at both school's we attended.
WOw.
I bet that was a BIG moose.
Um, ew to that last visual.
My sister lives in a town in Oregon that everyone rides around with gun racks and cow...um...testicles? hanging from the trailer hitch on their truck.
Ew, again.
My dad has always hunted, even more so since that is how he eats way out in the middle of nowhere. Lots of elk, which tastes pretty good, and he always tells the same joke " hey Meg, you like that beef stroganoff ? *giggle*" Yeah, Dad..its delicious elk,just like every other time.
woo hoot for my alaska!
i love me the mashed potatoes.
that deer head on the female pic is just creepy sad.
good to see you hopping about wynne. blessings, kathleen
So I laughed my antlers off on this one. thanks, wynne!
loved shar's comment :)
melissa--I guess the part I don't get is WHY would you go out and kill something and then have to GUT it and CLEAN it? Isn't that what butchers are for?
And have you ever seen a deer? They're so cute. Why would anyone want to kill one? I so don't get it.
tirzah--My point exactly. I mean, the guy who designed that sticker--REALLY. What WAS he thinking?
E.W.--Ah. So the last refuge of the skittery white male is being overrun by women, and that's why--? Ammo, indeed! If anyone brought me ammo for a b-day or other, I would shoot them with it.
jean knee--oh, I've been around. If you missed me you just weren't aiming very well.
bri--Ah HA! I should've known! All the mysterious mud all over Ferris, the smell of venison--I should have KNOWN! (And to be completely honest, two of my brothers, while living in Utah, went a-huntin'. I think one even went bow-huntin'. Can't say that I talked to them about it, or even acknowledged they were my brothers at that point.)
NCS--You can say that again.
Carrot--I'VE SEEN THOSE! Either that, or they're using a big chunk of wood as a bumper! Yeah. Sad, sad world we live in.
Megan--I never knew. So, you've dined on elk? Did he leave the antlers in? And...I don't get the joke.
kathleen--kathleen? hello? You alive? Cool.
shar--you should be glad the antlers are off now. You live in a huntin' state, after all. With decals like "silver nekked deer-ladies" you don't want to take any chances wearing antlers around town, y'know?
Chad either got him a big ol' "Mooseknuckle" or maybe he finished culinary school and they're using the always cleaver ConGRADulations spelling but they missed the proper spelling of mousse. I bet chocolate mousse is Chad's specialty and he majored in it.
I'm more a gatherer than a hunter. You should see my gathering skills at the dollar store and herding my children.
Wynne, I'm coming to Washington this summer. Will you make yourself available for a visit? I don't hug. I promise. Nor do I kiss on the cheek. You won't have to stand around awkwardly while I move in for the squeeze. (I hate that!)
I might shake your hand or I might show you some sweet chicken dancing moves. I really can't say for sure. I'll have to let the moment dictate my actions.
Carrot is my chauffeur. I wonder how she'll feel about a Wynne Pit Stop.
Not that we'll be all up in your pits, Wynne...unless you're into that sort of thing.
hi wynne -- yup, i'm still alive. come see me when you can.
blessings, kathleen
"You want to shoot things you are attracted to?"
This is so close to so many dark realities in our society...and yet I laugh.
As Rome burns.
Seriously, I have no problem with hunting if, like you said, you use the meat and can honestly say you aren't doing it because you enjoy the power-over-life-and-death element. Those who do can be identified by tacky bumper stickers (such as the disturbing ones you saw) and/or metal testicles attached to the backs of their pickup trucks.
I ate some very tasty oryx meat a few weeks ago from an oryx shot (legally) by my friend's brother. That oryx will feed their large family and any other random hungry guests for many moons.
Mmmmmm! Oryx! The other not-white meat!
Just read the comments. Looks like someone beat me to the testicles :)
Wow, all those years up in Idaho and I never saw sexy truck-flap deer. Hmm, and it's a boy deer, with antlers like that. EW, EW, EW.
Oh yeah... Used to see a lot of "ballsy" trucks in Tennessee. I used to think I should get a set of boobies for the front end of my girly car. I'd have gotten arrested for obscenity though- people still think it's offensive to nurse a baby in public, but nuts on a bumper are just a-ok.
dorkelina--AAAAAHHHH! It's TRUE! That would be a MALE deer they have on a female's body! It gets weirder and weirder the more I think about it, so I am going to stop thinking now. Blech.
(And I don't think you'd get arrested for the boobies on your car as long as you put a car bra on them , right?)
marie--oryx? What is an oryx? Hold on--I have to go google that...wait--did you go to Africa, or did he go to Africa and bring the oryx back with him? And...well, wouldn't it have been cheaper to buy some meat at the store with the price of the plane ticket figured in? I am intrigued. Can I keep an oryx as a pet, do you think? I could always tell people it was a new breed of goat. They'd probably believe me. And I bet it would cut the grass for us...
elastic--I'd like Chad a lot better if I KNEW that he was really just proud of being able to make mousse. Check your email.
wynne .. car bra?! hahaha, kathleen
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