Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What I Did During My Last Hiatus

Question: If you are sitting around in a presidency1 meeting discussing an issue that the Bishop2 is concerned about (in this instance, general cleanliness of ward3 members), and you ask the other presidency members if they've ever heard of FlyLady, and they say, "oh, nowhat is that?" do you:

A. Backtrack rapidly with: "Oh, that's too bad, because I don't know what it is either."
B. Attempt a distraction technique: "Hey! Look out the window there! Is that Sheri Dew4 running through the backyard?"
C. Tell the truth: "It's a woman on the Internet who has program that helps you organize your life along with your housekeeping."
D. Break wind.

Correct answer:

A or D would be the most effective, though B might work as well.

What I did:

I took option C, and told them what I knew about the FlyLady and her program. They thought it sounded wonderful. Five minutes later they had made the decision that the ward would host a "De-cluttering and Organization" class (basically "Housekeeping 101" but with a less offensive title), one class a month for the next five months, and I would be teaching it.

Um. Excuse me? What? Who, me?

Anyhoo, I finished the LAST CLASS this month, and it will no longer be eating my time! Hooray! If you would like to see how I happily ripped off FlyLady methodology and re-packaged it for our ward, you can click here to download the documentation for the entire five months' worth of classes! Whee! (No, really. Click. Download it. Really. I put a lot of work into it.)

But that wasn't the only thing that took me away from the computer this past little while. Oh, no. Oddly enough, this other thing also originated in a presidency meeting.

This time, we were talking about Enrichment5. (I am the Enrichment Counselor6, you know.) The idea was we were having a modest Enrichment Night that was going to focus on scripture study, and, since I was in charge of it, I managed to work PIRATES7 into the theme.

Then the Bishop, who happens to be married to the Education Counselor8 whose home we were meeting in, walked in and eavesdropped on the meeting. It just so happened that he was wanting to do something with scripture study for the entire ward. In yet another five minutes' time, I was suddenly in charge of a much more ambitious ward activity.

Sigh.

At least I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed putting this one together, 'cause, hey! Pirates! Cool!

Take a gander at this flyer that went into the Sacrament meeting bulletin:


I made two of these posters to sit outside of the chapel for a few Sundaysbecause flyers in the bulletin just weren't enough (they were enough for me, but I got outvoted):


(Sorry about the cat. He thought I made the posters just for him to sleep on. Dork.)

And then I got to make my own treasure! This is what a bucketful of pea gravel, a can of gold spray paint, some serious glue, and a few cheap acrylic gems from WalMart will get ya:


...and I made a WHOLE bunch of it, too.

Anyway, the whole thing is now over, and I am relieved. See? I'm lettin' my hair down:


And now that I am free from all of these things, I should be free to come back whole-heartedly into the world of bloggin', right?

Alas, NAY.

An old "friend" of mine has popped up, and he's a pretty demanding fellow.



More about him later.

*sigh*


*****************************************************************************

This blog posting comes with helpful footnotes for the Mormon-impaired. Hooray!!

1. In this case, a Relief Society presidency meeting. Basically, three to four women sitting around plotting how to take over the ward.
2. Busiest guy in the ward. And you never, ever want to babysit his cell phone, believe me.
3. All the LDS folk that live in a geographical area, like three blocks in Utah, or three counties in Kansas.
4. Author of such inspirational books such as "If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard."
5. The bane of my existence. It usually involves food and lots of women and cutesy evenings based around a theme. We always spike the punch with multivitamins, which is where it gets its name.
6. 2nd counselor in the RS presidency, also known as "the workhorse."
7. Pirates have nothing to do with people of the LDS faith. Or Mormons, either. I think some investigators were confused.
8. 1st counselor in the RS presidency, often heard to say, "man, am I glad I'm not the 2nd counselor!"
9. Yeah, these footnotes aren't all that helpful, I know. What are you going to do about it? (Keep in mind, before you respond, I HAVE A SWORD.)

15 comments:

wynne said...

BY THE WAY: I did a drawing, and Elastic gets the monkey! (And no, that is NOT your monkey I'm wearing in the pirate picture. Jake graciously allowed me to borrow his monkey for my costume.)

Jennifer B. said...

First of all: Wow! Congratulations on getting your ward de-cluttered and becoming a one woman activity committee!

Second: Not the box!!! What?!! Do tell.

Elizabeth-W said...

I was just getting ready to comment on the monkey until I read your comment.
As much as you protest, me thinketh you protesteth too mucheth.
You are incredibly creative. And I find you strangely attractive with that facial hair.
You rogue, you.

Carrot Jello said...

HOw the freak did I not get to be the first commenter?
You are so clever.
One day I'm going to come visit you and get your autograph.
What's that?
I don't know where you live?
That never stops me!

Carrot Jello said...

BTW, I love how you took your teeth out for the picture. It makes it more convincing.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a really fun activity! Way to be creative! I'm glad for you that it's over!

Super Happy Girl said...

Of course you had to teach the Housekeeping classes (which I have downloaded, gracias) everyone knows how cool and talented you are.

Wait, what? I want to read all about the boxes. You are moving?

Melissa said...

Moving?? :S
You have been a busy girl! My goodness! Sounds like you need to ask for a wee break... or two or three

Elizabeth-W said...

This is very interesting to me. People think you're moving, but my assumption was that you still haven't unpacked!

BLUEYEDBOYS said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Wynne you SO funny! And smooth how you slipped in the pirate theme! So I didn't see any mention of bringing along yer "golden plates" or anything, were those provided? or did you manage to scrap the scripture activity and focus on the corporal punishment o' the scurvy housekeepers that be the cause o' yer 5 month voyage? (Yes I know those were different activites-but the ward activity seemed like a good follow-up where all who did not follow orders could then be punished...)

wynne said...

jennifer b--I cannot say that the ward is now de-cluttered (after all, just because they had the info doesn't mean they did anything with it), and there were MANY people who helped with the activity. Now I feel like a jerk for making it seem like it was ALL ME. No. Not at all. I just did publicity, a bit of organization, and dressed like a pirate. 'tis all.

elizabeth--I got lots of compliments on the facial hair! Er, well, comments, anyway.

carrot--you have no idea how close you came to having your threat being fulfilled...as for teeth, there was one pirate there who took the cake for pirate teeth. He kept a granola bar in his pocket, and whenever anyone wanted a picture of him, he insisted on chewing up the bar and letting bits of it stick to his teeth. Looked...gross. And surprisingly realistic.

tirzah--here you are and I haven't visited your blog in--what? MONTHS? Why are you people so nice? Why do you keep coming back after so much neglect on my part? *sigh*

NCS--Thbbt. Right. I am sooo not cool. I have excessive phlegm and multiple cats. And I love my computer too much to be cool.

melissa--WHAT? A WEE BREAK? Oh, no! Now is NOT the time to break a finger or a toe. That can really slow a person down, and I need to have my running shoes on for the next lil' bit. (And if my little toe was broken, I don't think I could put the running shoe on.) *sigh* Maybe in the next life. You know, the one where I get to sleep in until noon and people wait on me?

adri--Nah. No golden plates. As people came in, I made a real horse's hind-end outta meself running around and asking them to help me with a treasure map--I was lookin' to kife the cap'n's treasure, you understand. But the only clues they found under their chairs were scriptures like "where your treasure is, there be your heart also," which infuriated me, because it was of no help. Then the cap'n came out (so sorry--it seems you're going to get the entire run-down) and promised everyone some of his treasure if they would take some pirate training first. So everyone spent the remainder of the evening running around to mini-classes with titles like "Cabin Boy Training" (a class on family scripture study ideas) and "Navigatin' Rough Water" (class on surviving the Isaiah chapters), etc.

Then when they all came back in, Cap'n (who is the bishop, of course) opened his huge chest and gave everyone...yeah, you guessed it...a fresh copy of the Book of Mormon and challenged 'em all to read it by September. Talk about your cruel and unusual punishments.

Yeah, our bishop DOES have a huge chest. What are ya gonna do about it?

CISCO & OTHER BOXES--I AM PRETENDING YOU DON'T EXIST. GO AWAY.

everyone--I'll tell you what that's all about when I move out of denial. Maybe after my nasty, nasty cold goes away.

Anonymous said...

You are fantastic! This is Elisa. I love pirates! Everyone at work knows I love pirates. Whenever I can find an opportunity dress up as a pirate, I do it. I even own my own pirate hat. Bravo!

Meghan said...

Wynne-will you be my life coach?
Don't move-it's not worth it. Moving is what people will be doing in hell.

Marie said...

Oh Wynne Wynne -- I have so missed reading your blog! I wish I were in your ward and could partake of your delightful uniqueness (no, that's not a euphemism).

I'm so sorry for the Return of Cisco. I hate moving more than I hate syphilis. Not that I have syphilis or anything.

I was the 1st counselor once and I was *constantly* heard saying, "Man, I am glad I'm not the 2nd counselor!" First counselor is a piece of cake. I'll pray that you get that calling in your next ward (so you can blog more).

Unknown said...

hehehe **giggles** i love how you called it "Mormon-impaired." that is a hoot.

your pirate flyer looks awesome. and you done up as a pirate is so fun.

sounds like you had some meaningful experiences :)

hope the move is smooth -- kathleen/grateful :)