Have Mercy
Some of you have been overgenerous with your praise of this humble, humble blog (see comments for nearly every post since I started this thing).
I think that most of you are just trying to be nice. This may be because every person who has left a comment is female, and I guess we feel that part of being nice is just something that goes along with menstruation and mammary gland support: be kind to your sister! Support and encourage her, even when she is exposing herself as the hugest moron ever! Hooray! It's great to be a girl!
Now, don't get me wrong. I love the fact that people are actually reading this stuff, and I like it that you leave comments, too. However, I think you should realize the danger excess encouragement can cause. 
If you continue to tell me how great my writing is, how much you enjoy it, to please write more, yada yada yada, you will, of course, be giving me a big head.
And though I cannot say I despise the feeling, it is sure to cause me certain problems:
- I will be top-heavy, which means I will be falling down even more than I typically do (the average right now is three times a day).
- I will only be able to wear button-up shirts.
- Walking through doorways may become a bit of a problem. Heck, walking may become a bit of a problem.
- I will not be able to sit down at the movies without hearing a chorus of groans from everyone seated behind me.
- My neck is gonna get really tired.
- People may stare/call me names/throw rocks at me.
- My ears may possibly end up being in different zip codes (which is not technically a problem, since my ears don't receive any mail--but long-distance telephone charges may apply if I switch ears while talking on the phone).
- Hats will be out of the question.
- And, of course, the biggest problem of all:
I promise you, if that last scenario happens (and it will if you continue), you will be the one responsible, so you will have to clean up the mess.
And now that I've warned you to the dangers of head inflation--praise on!
12 comments:
That was the lamest thing I've ever read.
(I laughed my leg off, and now I'm lame.)
That was the stupidest blog post I have ever read with the crappiest drawings. I think you need you to get blogging for dummy and drawing for dummies. Or maybe you should just take notes while reading my exceptionally good blog.
wynne: you are a riot. loving this. and i believe in calling it like it is.
she's a very funny girl! the kind you would take home to mother! he he
thanks for making me laugh tonight. happy night to ya :)
I laugh out loud every time I click over here, really.
For the swelled head issue- just take a roll of duct tape, and wrap it all around your head, leaving a couple of spaces for your eyes and mouth. That way even if your head -heaven forbid- pops, all the stuffin' will stay inside! YAY!
That's what plastic surgery is for silly... they'll just go in and do a little lipo and presto - back to normal! So, write away! I look forward to reading your next phenomenal post :)
hi wild wynne: now i am making your head even a little bit bigger. come see my post. i mentioned YOU and your weblink. really. thanks for making me laugh and smile and almost choke laugh milk out my nose if i had had that in my mouth some of the times you have REALLY made me laugh so hard i might pee my pants.
tootles dear :)
ps. word verification reminds me of yaba dabba doo!
Well, the first two comments caused a little deflation, but then I read the rest. Really!! No mercy.
Melissa--I looked into that plastic surgery stuff, and have determined it is currently outside of my budget range. *sigh* Better go pick up some duct tape...or, hey! What about support hose? That might work, as long as I don't walk into a bank anytime soon...
Wynne - hmm... the control top hose would limit your outside activity... of course, being drug down to the county jail to explain yourself might deflate you just a tad... so maybe that would work :)
Oh Wynne...all it really takes is a very large, very long needle...because, unlike the last picture shows, our heads are actually full of liquid cheese. One little puncture and TA DA! You've got nachos for the rest of the week AND a smaller head!
And I'm sure that I've already told you this, but I love your writing...nay, I love your thinking that then finds its way into your writing. And I will not, shall not tell you otherwise. (I've got my chips all poised and ready and I'm kinda hungry, so...aim for VA, will ya?)
Er...I apologize for the mildly cannabalistic and grody nature of my previous comment. I'm still coming off an all-night-paper-writing bent, so I'm not sure that all my faculties are working properly yet.
So grateful I scrolled down to read this. Reminds me of my Granny. She never says anything nice to your face, but praises you to the sky behind your back. Took -years- for all us cousins to compare notes and figure her out.
Personally, I blog solely in hopes of getting a swelled head. Mayhap it will help offset the size of my giant tuckus, long ago inflated by too many hours in ye computer chair. =P
christina--ewwwww. (The imagery I got from your comment was very similar to a large zit, well...EWWWW.)
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